The devils dance.

So, i'll start by giving you my interpretive meaning of what you conveyed to me through your piece as i've found that that often helps writers more than my feedback ever could and then move on to other aspects of the piece.

What i get from reading your piece is an atypical depiction of the constant struggle between good and evil - atypical because good is not directly represented here in the text till it is ultimately chosen in the end; a struggle with sin/morals if you will. The Devil figure, to me, represents temptation and all the other depictions of emotions, thoughts, and actions come off as metaphorical descriptions of said temptation. The character (narrator) of the poem struggles with this throughout the piece until the resolve when the reader is left with the implication that the narrator decided to 'kill' temptation and overcome its influences. So that's what i got from the piece as the reader.

The first thing i want to call to your attention as far as this piece goes, as it was the single literary technique that most hampered my reading, is the punctuation. The constant use of punctuation at the ends of lines that often neither needed nor warranted the break in pacing really made this piece a very choppy read. Remember that punctuation is a deliberate pause in literature, many of these lines are not complete thoughts and - thus - really shouldn't have a deliberate pause at the end. i certainly realize why you punctuated it as it puts further emphasis on line endings, but i really think that this hampers the reader as a whole.

The next thing i'd like to call to your attention is detail. This piece comes off rather ambiguously which can certainly be good on occasion, especially when you want your reader to be able to 'slip into the shoes' of the narrator so to say, but here in this instance i personally would rather see more details my man. i understand that the narrator is going through a mental struggle but why? For what? What does he have to lose or gain and how do these decisions affect him? i know that poetry is far from prose and certainly doesn't need a story or a really in-depth character but i believe that this piece has a lot to gain from fleshing out the situation a bit more. i think that that will enable you to put more emotion into the piece rather than leaving it blank for others to fill in and - since it already provides a solid metaphorical visual - the context and emotion would really drive your point home in my opinion.

Also, there is a space break in the line:
Preparing to kill,
that is really throwing me off aesthetically. i know it's a small thing, but i'm a firm believer in that the little things are what separate the mundane from the magical.

Aside from that, i've always been a huge fan of the juxtaposition of good and evil and love your conceptual idea on this piece. It is a good piece for sure; i just think that it could also be a great piece.
<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="Wink/Razz"/>

Hope this helps. This is obviously just my opinion so feel free to utilize or ignore whatever you see fit since - as the writer - you certainly have a better vision of the piece than i shall ever even hope to grasp. Best of luck to you in all your endeavors my man.